Pre-show run-through:
The awful shows continued last week as we had a stinker
somewhat redeemed by a top-notch Finlay-SWAGGA match. Alongside that, SWAGGA is
no longer undefeated, which is fine with me, I never liked unbeaten streak
angles. Tommy Dreamer, it would appear, is still a jobber. And ECW has a new
superstar, Jamie Noble, who they instantly wasted by jobbing out to the
Boogeyman. Who will they instantly waste by jobbing out to the Boogeyman
tonight? Read on!
Mr. SWAGGA is out to lay some wisdom on us. Notably absent
is his giant grin. For the last two weeks, he has been embarrassed by Finlay
and Woggle, and Teddy Long has done nothing except book a title match for No
Way Out. The crowd is murdering Swagger here. Jack is the victim here, but he
will take care of the real problem tonight. He calls out Hornswoggle. Way to
make the champion look good. Geez.
It is all redeemed a second later. ~CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT
LAST YOURE ON YOUR OWN! PEEP SALUTE! I really wish I hadnt read the spoilers on
that, because I love me some surprises. Still a cool moment. Indeed, The Instant
Classic Christian Cage is here, using a remix of Just Close Your Eyes as his
music. Swagga is totally speechless. Christian chant. Cage finally says hes
here to interrupt Swaggers promo, but more importantly to save his life. If hes
not careful, he might electrocute himself with all the saliva hes spraying on
the mic. More mockery of the lisp. Sufferin succotash! Its been a long time
since the peeps have seen him. Seriously, though, the real reason Christian is
here is right on Swaggers shoulder. Christian challenges the winner of the No
Way Out match for the ECW Championship. Jack says hes a big deal, wrestling
prodigy, All-American, etc. Cage wont make a name at his expense. Christian
ends things there with a mic shot, and casually backs away.
(ads)
Swagger wants the rest of the night off. Teddy says not
gonna happen, because hes facing Christian Cage tonight! By the way, before
anyone asks: yes, I know his WWE ring name is just Christian. That will not
stop me from calling him Christian Cage for the next ten years.
Already in the ring is Tommy Dreamer. I swearwe can spend 25
minutes a week on the combined entrances of Taker and Triple H, but we cant
spare 15 extra seconds so our talent doesnt look like a complete jobber? Video
package of Tommy being mugged by MnM2.0.
Tommy Dreamer vs. The Miz (w/ John Morrison)
Dreamer with a quick takedown and punches. They go outside
and Miz kicks Tommy to the barricade. He comes off the apron with a double
sledge but misses and eats barricade. Back inside and Tommy hits an elbow drop.
Miz comes back with a turnbuckle bulldog and mounted punches. Punt to the ribs
and some crossfaces into a facelock. Tommy turns it into a back suplex and a
clothesline. Bulldog off the ropes and the spinebuster. Miz misses on his
corner clothesline, tree of woe neckbreaker! Morrison zooms around the entire
ring to climb the stairs instead of just jumping on the apron, whatever that
means. He provides the distraction, gets clobbered, but Miz hits a wacky ass
jawbreaker (shades of the Stunner) for the win. Thats his move! Waitthats his
move?
Winner: The Miz by Strange Looking Jawbreaker @ 3:07
Ive been saying this about a lot of Dreamer matchesI guess
theyre all following a trend. But it started off slow, got promising, and then
ended way too soon just as it was looking good. Not a great effort for either
guy, but then what kind of effort can you post in three minutes?Match Rating:
3.9/10
Backstage, Jamie Noble wants to speak to Teddy. Last week,
Boogey tried to shove disgusting worms down his throat. Teddy asks if he wants
a rematch. Tiffanydid you not give him the memo? Haha, Noble is awesome. On
RAW, Jamie Nobles a big dog. His request is interrupted by the knocking of
Teddys current appointment, and consider yourself blown off Mr. Noble. The new
arrival is the debuting Tyson Kidd, accompanied by Natalya, who is looking en
fuego tonight. Apparently, Kidd trained at the dungeon and is Teddys next top
star. Also, he apparently cant talk for crap. He puts down Noble and leaves. At
least Natties doing something now.
No Way Out match card.
Backstage, Christian is accosted by Woggle. Did we really
have to get the stink of bad gimmick on him the very first week? Finlay pops in
to say he will be watching the match with extreme interest, and it wont be
Swagger Christian must go through, but himself.
(ads)
Evan Bourne vignette. He returns next month. Yay! As long as
RAW doesnt steal him again, at least until the draft.
Tyson Kidd vs. Bao Nguyen
Waistlock for Kidd, hammerlock for Nguyen. Tyson with a
snapmare and some kicks, followed by an Atomic Drop. Spinning heel kick and an
aggressive headlock. Front kick off the ropes, a mule kick and running
dropkick. He finishes it off by hitting, or rather botching, a springboard
elbow drop.
Winner: Tyson Kidd by Springboard Elbow @ 1:31
Pretty good start for Kidd. I dig anyone who can utilize
kicks effectively, and he did that. He needs to work on his finisher as he
wasnt confident with the springboard. Anyways, 90 seconds isnt enough to tell
anything. Well see.Match Rating: 4.8/10
After the match, Noble comes out for a staredown.
(ads)
LONG-ASS Orton vs. Shane video package. Cross-promotion is
one thing, but a three minute cross-promotion video package on a 40-minute show
is a bit much.
Jack SWAGGA vs. Christian Cage
Swagger gets a double leg takedown and works a waistlock for
a while, Christian to the ropes. Swagger with a shove, Cage responds with a
jaw-jack and roll-up for two. Swagger hits a knee, Christian floats over a
suplex and nails punches to Swagger in the corner. Swagger eats a boot on a
corner charge, and Cage comes off the second rope for a sunset flip. Finlay and
Woggle make an appearance at this point to the apparent dismay of both
competitors.
(ads)
Swagger continues with the waistlock as we return, and to my
utter dismay Finlay AND HORNSWOGGLE have donned headsets at ringside. Eli, Eli,
lama sabachthani!!! Look it up. Swagger with a swank neckbreaker takedown and
some rolling chain wrestling. After about a minute of making stupid noises,
Hornswoggle mostly shuts up. Knee lift for Swagger and he lands some kicks and
a corner clothesline. Todd stuffs up by asking Hornswoggle a question about
Finlays chances Sunday. Thank you for that insightful commentary.Striker.
Another slap by Christian, but Swagger hits a shoulder thrust. They trade
punches, with Cage winning. FREAKING AWESOME Tornado DDT for Christian.
Christian with a running forearm and some punches, and he doesnt pull those at
all. Scorpion Death Drop and Cage goes up top for the frog splash, but misses.
Rollup for two for Jack. Swagger Bomb countered to the Unprettier, which is
countered to a back suplex, which Christian flips through. Belly to belly slam
for Swagger, but he misses on a Vader Bomb. Pin him! *exasperated sigh* Finlay.
Swagger tries a German suplex off the apron, but Christian holds on and hits a
kick through the ropes. Swagger throws Christian over the table into Finlay in
the noisiest way imaginable. Big boot for Swagger and he messes with the
turnbuckle. Christian with the inside package for two. Unprettier countered to
an electric chair, which is headed for the exposed turnbuckle until Woggle
distracts the referee and Finlay shillelaghs Swaggers leg. Unprettier for
three!!
Winner: Christian Cage by Unprettier @ 8:15
Uncharacteristically enough for me, Im not bothered by the
match ending. Christian couldnt lose his debut, and the champion shouldnt be
beaten two weeks in a row without major shenanigans. So it works fine for me.
On to the match, this was a great showing. While not quite as long as last
weeks Finlay/Swagger encounter, it was a little better in terms of ring work.
And better than last weeks match equals great. Swagger really got to shine with
a guy who knows how to sell his offense. The Hornswoggle With Headset appearance
detracted from the match a bit (seriouslywho in the HELL thought that was a
good idea?), but it was still a great debut for Christian. Match Rating: 7.8/10
Overall Analysis:
I am thrilled to have Cage on board. As far as Im concerned,
hes a main eventer maybe not an Edge or Randy Orton level of main eventer, but
certainly better than Batista or Kozlov. I know people are going to look at him
coming to ECW as a disappointment, but the simple truth is that ECW is a show
that needs saved right now, and the only way that will happen is if they add a
bit more talent that can work good matches. Bringing Noble and Cage in and
debuting the mildly promising Kidd is a great step to remedy that. Bring back
Bourne full time, ensure Miz and Morrison make consistent appearances, and
suddenly youve got a deep, talented roster again, full of people capable of
great matches, and ECW will be a strong show again, something I sure didnt
think Id say so soon after the disastrous last three weeks weve had.
Overall Show Grade: A-
Next week: I bust out my Bottom Ten for your amusement. As
its kind of stupid to point to someone everyone knows is boring and say he
sucks, Ill be counting off the ten worst wrestlers relative to the push the WWE
is giving them. Youre guaranteed a Boogeyman appearance, as well as some of my
trademark Batista bashing. You wont want to miss it!
No comments:
Post a Comment